Photos from an autumn Sunday stroll on a rare sunny day in Berlin, October 2016

I have about five unfinished blog posts trying to describe what its like being back in Australia after a year in Berlin, none quite feel right to publish just yet.

a summers day in potsdam

Potsdam, July 2016

I've had a super bad week; I went into work crying yesterday over a big misunderstanding. I feel fragile and sensitive and a lot of emotions that have been locked away for some time now. But its snowing today and its pretty magical. I'm currently sitting in bed with a warm coffee delivered to me by my wonderful and caring boy, looking back at pictures from the summer, feeling nostalgic and sad that I'm leaving this beautiful city in a month.

Gleisdreieck

Gleisdreieck Berlin September 2016

bob & tom

Various photos from Tasmania, July 2015

It's a Sunday afternoon and I'm currently sitting in bed enjoying the view outside my window into my apartment courtyard. I'm sorting through some of my old photos, some which I always intended to upload here but never got around to it. My boyfriend is sleeping on the floor because he has a weird thing about sleeping in bed when he's sick. It's approaching winter in Berlin, so days spent indoors like today are becoming more common. I'm bittersweet about this - on the one hand I've never had a winter Christmas before; the mulled wine is already popping up on every corner along with the decorations and the cheesy music which I secretly love. The bars are smokier and dark, the streets quieter. On the other, I'm sad because I'm most likely heading home in February and I long for just one more of those long summer days drinking beer in the park and riding around the city. I'm sad that I'll never experience Berlin in the same way again. Maybe we'll stay until next July, is the thought that pops up in general conversation at least once a day between my boyfriend and I. But my life in Berlin seems too transient - I can't stay forever (although I could come back) - and so I feel as though I can't build towards anything meaningful here. For now, I'm happy just seeing where things go - decisions don't need to be made for another six weeks. Maybe I will experience another Berlin summer again.

the colours of fall

Tiergarten Berlin Oktober 2016

Yes I write here sometimes. I try to make it a regular thing, but alas it never sticks. After seven years I'm going to stop trying to make it stick and just write here from time to time.

This week I'm recovering from a bout of tonsillitis - I've spent a week in bed sitting next to my three plants (which I must say are dying because they sit right on top of the radiator). I find when I'm forced to take time off my feelings on the matter change dramatically as the week passes - at the beginning its fun for about a day before I get restless and clean the whole house wanting to get back to work. After four days, thats when the real relaxing happens - this was yesterday. I pulled out the copy of frankie that has been sitting on the window sill since I bought it and indulged in every sweet smelling page - it was lovely.

Afterwards, I started to search the internet for a point and shoot camera for my boyfriends birthday - it was then that I realised that a) I haven't taken a roll of film since I arrived in Berlin ten months ago and b) I consistently wished that all the photos I've amassed on my Olympus and iPhone had been taken on my film camera, in particular the photos above. I wanted the photos to have that slightly saturated tinge to the leaves and the eery silence in the blue sky that film photographs give you. I envied the colours of the film photos I was browsing, the emotion that can't be conveyed in a digital image. It made me feel anxious as to why I purchased such an expensive digital camera, when a 50 euro point and shoot will do the trick. I'm not sure if I'm quite ready to let go of my Olympus, but for the moment I'm going to give my film camera a bit more of a go.

Port Arthur

Port Arthur, Tasmania 2015

Here are some more pictures from my series on Port Arthur (for my previous post see here) - the former convict settlement in Tasmania, but also, perhaps more famously, the site where Australia's largest mass murder took place 20 years ago. Walking around the site, it was eery to think that such a thing could happen in such a beautiful place. Even though it was the dead of a Tasmanian winter, the sun was out and glistened on the water, the old ruins a lovely shade of yellow and the trees green and lush.

Two Two

Two Two Cafe, Neukölln

After not the best start of the day, my boyfriend (who has just moved to Berlin) and I stumbled across this super cool Japanese cafe in the middle of Neukölln. It has a super cool vibe that was totally not Berlin - for example, it was super welcoming, had wifi & super cool stationary for sale and the coffee was decent (okay maybe I'm being a bit harsh to Berlin...). But it is definitely going to be a staple in the future!

German classes are done (for the moment) and last week I had my university orientation. The German classes came in useful because the entire week was pretty much done in German, which means that I missed important things like how to sign up to my classes. Sigh, but I got through in the end, and despite some hiccups on the way, nothing is going to stop me from staying here at the moment. So what if I can't complete enough credits to transfer back home, it'll all work out, says the voice in the back of my head who still thinks ignorance is bliss.

I also managed to score a job at this super cool boutique-y shop right next door to my house, as did my boyfriend at an equally as cool coffee roastery. Speaking of him - he's been here two weeks now and settled in pretty quickly. Its much more fun heading to the veggie markets with someone slightly more cooking inclined than myself. It's been a blast so far, and I couldn't imagine spending my time in Berlin with anyone else but him (sappy-ness ends there). We're thinking of trying to stay here for the year, it's easy for him being British, but my Australian blood doesn't get me too far. But again, it'll all work out...